Avoid H.A.L.T.
Dr. Doug Weiss - 9/28/2007
In recovery whether it be from alcohol, drugs, sex or food, H.A.L.T. has been used to stand for the feelings Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. These are important feelings to avoid for the recovering sex addict. Simply put, keep yourself eating regularly, not allowing yourself to get too hungry. Hunger may make you more susceptible to less logical thinking. Some researchers believe that eating certain foods can help you in recovery. A book that discusses this aspect of recovery is Help Yourself, by Joel Robertson published by Thomas Nelson Publishing.
Anger can sneak up on you quickly and put you in an emotional state of, "I'll show her." Which could lead you to rationalize why it might be okay to act out. Some sex addicts have a whole system where they purposely start a fight with their partner, leave, act out and come back later justifying their acting out behavior because they were "Angry." If anger is a problem, be sure to refer to the exercise in 101 Practical Exercises on Anger Work. Anger can be an important piece of managing your recovery.
Lonely is a difficult feeling for the sex addict to handle. Feeling alone can make the sex addict feel vulnerable to want to medicate the feeling by acting out. Having an action plan or an "I will do" list available in your wallet for when you feel lonely may be helpful. Some other suggestions are:
- Go to a public place such as a mall or restaurant.
- Call someone in the program
- Plan ahead to avoid your alone time gaps such as weekends or when your partner may be out of town.
- Exercise
- Help someone else with a project
- Go to a meeting, church or other social gathering.
- Pray.
- Ask others what they do when they feel this way.
Being "Tired" in your busy, fast paced life, is a familiar feeling. Tiredness can lower your resistance to the point of "who cares." To recover, you need to stay alert. Your sex addiction is a default program that wants to be fully act...
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